09.13.11 ♥ 0
Hi, so I haven’t written in ever. I’ve never written, not like this anyway; and although i know the subject of this blog, this is going to be my first time improv writing. Bare with me. (BTW… I use words like ‘gonna’ instead of ‘going to’ when writing informal shiz. Deal with it)
So very recently I came into contact with a group of people by random chance, which i then started to hang out with; not because I particularly liked this group of people, neither did I dislike them for that matter, they were just some people who happened to be ok with the fact that I was indifferent to them. So anyway, this hanging-out thing became pretty regular and soon enough other mutual friends of the people already in this hang-out joined in and for a while it seemed to almost resemble some sort of weekly cult gathering, minus the cult part. This is not the point of this blog, but I’m gettin there. Be patient.
I’m not exactly the most social person, (this does not include social networking, because that’s not a ‘real’ form of socializing, that’s just laziness in my opinion.) but that does not mean to say that I am not sociable, I can be very chatty when introduced to new people, however in large groups I tend to get shy; so for someone who is not used to being acquainted in large groups, especially so regularly, I have come to realise as a partial observer of humans, how much people focus on the wrong shit.
And then complain about it.
I felt that my accidental ‘experiment’ was fair, since the age/occupation/gender of the group was fairly mixed and, as I mentioned earlier, the group were all right with my detachment to them. There was no need for me to feel ‘obliged’ to engage in conversation with any particular individual and although a lot of the time I was involvedI was usually just listening and observing.
Here is a list of conversational topics which I found in common among the men and women with age-ranging from 22-37.
Number 1 being the most frequent (or frequently brought up) topic of conversation:
1. Finance
2. Relationships/family
3. Job satisfaction
4. General personal development.
It’s obvious that the thing we talk about most is where our focus lies; hence it is what we are thinking about most, thus the importance and priority attached to it. This is fairly obvious.
OK. So bearing this in mind, hopefully I am not the only one who can see a MAJOR fault in the list then.
The main fault of the list is the order. Some of you may argue that family should come before finance, or that job satisfaction should be at the top, but to be honest: all of that comes down to opinion. What doesn’t come down to opinion is the FACT that the number one item on the list should be what is the last item on the list:
SELF IMPROVEMENT.
i was so shocked to see how little time, thought or energy is given to the self. If one gives optimum attention to the self, then the rest of the list will follow automatically. see the following affirmations:
For example: I am attractive and confident= good friends =good times=good partner=good relationship=happy.
2. I am skilled and talented at what I do = job satisfaction=good job=promotion=money=happy
obviously these things can only come after acting upon self improvement, not just by affirming the statements to yourself like a retard-(I actually know a few people who do this, they’re still doing it, no result) you have to ACT upon it, go out of your way and concentrate on improving yourself to the optimum. Your worries shouldn’t be ‘I need more money’ because that is almost like saying: ’ I’m the best I can possibly be and im not gettin what I deserve for it’ BULL. If you were ACTUALLY at your highest potential you’d know it and money wouldn’t’ be a thing for you.
Your concern should be ‘what are the people with money doing differently? and how can I better MYSELF to attain it’.
This is just an example, but the same can be said for relationships:
if you stop looking at why your partner is being so ‘selfish’ or why he/she is not taking you seriously, take a second and look at yourself, and be like:
‘I need to work on my patience’ or ‘I need to work on being more assertive’
At the end of the day YOU create your life, and so there is no REASON or EXCUSE to play victim.
This, however, does not go to mean, that you should find yourself a high horse, get on it and parade around town like you run shit. It does, however, mean that in every situation and in every circumstance you ONLY benefit. There are no losses in life.
See, I can understand why the subjects involved in my: ‘i have too much time on my hands experiment’ won’t immediately see the fault in my list, but that’s because they were not ‘consciously’ choosing to talk about these topics or how frequently they bring them up (Or that they were part of my weird social behaviour experiment). Right?
Wrong.
Humans are ‘conscious’ beings on every level, so everything we do is conscious. However, due to the complexity of our minds we have also have to deal with the Sub-conscious. This is what determines things that the average person feels they have no, or little control of, i.e. emotions:
Ever heard someone say: ‘you can’t help how you feel?’
That’s rubbish. Of course you can control how you feel, so stop living your life on Auto-pilot. Everything that is determined in your day-to-day life is via thought, which i will go into more detail in another blog post, but in short: your thoughts determine your actions.
So if you’re having a shitty day, as hard as it may seem, but as simple as it is: stop thinking about how shitty your day is, coz if you don’t it’s almost as if you are deliberately saying: I wanna constantly remind myself how shit my day has been by concentrating on it. Is my drift being caught? Or am i just chatting shit? This will then lead to all your actions or pending tasks to be of a low or shitty standard, leaving you feeling even shitter. It’s a cycle. Get out.
Doing this eliminates FEAR. 9/10 times fear is a bitch; and when it’s being a bitch, it’s not any bitch, it’s like the biggest two-faced snot covered fugliest bitch in town. Why? Because fear is the anticipation of shit that could possible go wrong. When you break it down properly it is plain to see that fear is usually the most illogical thought process: you are ANTICIPATING that something which HASN’T happened yet MIGHT happen to your disadvantage.
The cake you haven’t baked yet might burn. wtf.
So let’s take another hypothetical example, let’s say you’re a guy and you see a hot girl, and you wanna know. What is the MOST damage that could happen if you were to take the so called risk?
a: she looks at you like, you’re a fucking loser, and says: girls like me don’t look at boys like you eugh! Flicks her hair in your face and walks her sexy bitch-ass off.
b: she pulls out the chainsaw that she was hiding behind her, which you somehow failed to notice, and slices your arm off before you got to say the H in hi. Now you are incapacitated. FFS.
Yea… so the MOST that could happen is rejection. But fuck it, you’re never gonna have to see this girl again, move along. Also the rejection just saved you from wasting your time on a total bitch, (as previously mentioned, you only GAIN. no losses in life) but none of that would be apparent to you, had you not rolled your dice in the first place. Therefore: you’re actually causing yourself MORE damage by not approaching her just in case it goes down like this:
*you say hi, and lay down your game play*
She responds with: nice name. Let’s have sex.
(Yea, unlikely, but still… you never know)
So ok, let’s say this girl is someone you know at work or someone you see everyday unavoidably. The risk factor remains the same, the Most that can happen is that she says no and that you have to see her on Monday; but this doesn’t out-weigh the pleasures to come of if she happened to say yes. Right?
This brings me back to my previous point. Focusing on the wrong shit.
With the same example, if you approach the woman thinking:
‘I’m finally gonna ask her’ but in the back of your mind your thinking: ‘what if she says no’ Fear-bitch is gonna effect your game-play, resulting in ‘hot girl’ seeing your lack of confidence which is more than likely going to land you in a situation where she does refuse.
BUT!
if, on the other hand, you approach her thinking the opposite: ‘what if she says yes’ this simple change shifts your energy and your mood automatically effecting your game play in a positive way; because you have now put YOU in the driver’s seat, it’s up to you what happens next ‘If she says yes.’
There was a reason why I said 9/10 times fear is a bitch. That one time when she is not a bitch is that one time when you find yourself with a hot girl with a chainsaw ready to slice your arm off. Or like in a burglary or some other mediocre but unpleasant event.
So yea. I think I’m done. Hopefully I’ve made my point successfully enough. I’m not even gonna read this through to see if it makes sense, coz I’m too sleepy so please excuse any random typo’s or errors and shit like that. But yea. BE A VAIN-ASS COZ THERES NOTHING WORSE THAN A CHICKEN SHIT ON AUTO-PILOT. :D
The benefits of sleep are well-documented, but researcher Sara C. Mednick, PhD, and her colleagues are finding that certain stages of sleep actually have distinct roles in people’s memory capacity. The REM (rapid eye movement) sleep stage — where people’s dreams are most vivid — is also important for people’s memory systems, Mednick found.
Mednick, who is a leading sleep researcher at the University of California, San Diego, presented findings from a recent study. Using a creativity task called a Remote Associates Test, study participants were shown multiple groups of three words (e.g., cookie, heart, sixteen) and asked to find another word that can be associated with all three words. In this case, the answer would have been “sweet.” Participants were tested once in the morning and again in the afternoon, either after a nap with REM sleep, one without REM sleep or a quiet rest period.
Although the quiet rest and non-REM sleep groups received the same words prior to the association task, they displayed no improvement on the Remote Associates Test. However, the REM sleep group improved by almost 40 percent over their morning performances. The authors hypothesize that the formation of associative networks from previously unassociated information in the brain, leading to creative problem-solving, is facilitated by changes to neurotransmitter systems during REM sleep.
REM has been shown multiple times to help with memory- even for motor tasks. Naps can aid with this memory consolidation… as long as you get to the REM stage before you wake up. You will preform better on a test (for example) if after you study, you sleep and consolidate everything you learned before you take the exam.
:)
